I called upon the muze

Op 24 februari 2005 overkwam me iets:

And once again, I call upon the muze, to invoke the spirit we call time and beg her if she would listen again one more time to the cry of this mortal, through all his vain and misleadings, through all his pain and misconduct, through all his insane misdoings, he calls upon the muze once again. The dear muze, would you still listen to me, to this disrespectful mortal, who claims your attention for his own humiliation only possible in face of your statue of whom so much and so many can say so little by so few. Is there forgiveness for the unforgivable sinner, I beg thee on my knees and on this earth without my clothes in fullest of my tears, I beg thee, have thee forgotten me, through all these moments and years, these weeks and days, these feelings and pains, these fears and faints, these sings and songs. Have thee forgotten me? Have thee abondoned me? Have thee gone away to forsake me in my loneliness? Have I been punished for that was has come over me like a storm through a desert, not fertilizing the land, but washing away all its possible ways of growth? Has it all been taken from me? Am I alone now? Alone in the desert of silence? Or are you still aware of my presence, hurting me through silence and shimmering signals through daily life and nightly wake? I should not have looked where you were not there. But there you were, in all your glory, your triumph, your power, your beauty. And there I was, in all my hideousness, not understanding the offering of your distance towards my presence, not aware of anything but you, in all your force, your honesty, the everything of who ...

En net op tijd komt er aan wat er aan moest komen. Ik dank u met al mijn hart, mijn ziel en mijn leven.